Woot! I get George Grande and Chris Welsh calling the game tonight! I love these guys. Also means I’ll probably get to see Bronson’s JTM commercials tonight.
I’m easily amused. π
Yankees are in rain delay and there is a chance of showers in Cincinnati. Here’s hoping I don’t end up having to watch the Rays all night.
7:06 – Chris Welsh just said that Arroyo and Lowe work out together “every day during the off-season”. This explains a lot.
7:07 – George Grande just called them both “former Red Soxers”. Oh my.
7:08 – Bronson is “trotting out to the mound”. This is going to be fun. π
7:09 – Bronson’s planning on “taking Derek Lowe deep tonight”. I think my brain just exploded.
7:11 – First pitch strike. So far, no cramp. Yet, Pierre just hit a single off him on his second pitch.
7:12 – 2-0 count on Blake DeWitt. How many times will you have to Google players’ names tonight? π
7:13 – 1-3 and there’s one out. DeWitt moved Pierre over to second. Jeff Kent, everyone’s pal, is up. He’s hitting .252 and he’s looking, let’s say a little ‘thick’ these days. What’s he 54 now?
7:15 – Sports for girls who don’t watch sports: Bronson’s hair is looking a little unkempt and sweaty. π
7:16 – Upset by my criticism of his hair, Bronson plunks Kent and puts him on base – which brings up Russell Martin.
7:16b – I can’t remember the last time I saw the Reds execute an ‘easy’ double play. And they don’t tonight. We have two outs and men on first and third.
7:17 – James Loney is up and hitting .296. For those keeping score at home, Bronson has adjusted himself seven times so far.
7:18 – Bronson practically picks Loney’s nose with a pitch that Grande calls “a little high”. He then throws a wild pitch that bounces off of David Ross and brings a run in. 1-0, Dodgers.
7:19 – Loney hits it right to second and Bronson is out of the inning. 1-0…could have been worse.
Memories….courtesy of Boston.com
7:22 – Here comes Derek Lowe…according to Welsh all he has is a sinker and a slider…and one of those gives Joey Votto a base hit.
7:24 – Dodgers show the Reds how to execute a double play thanks to Mr. Cabrera. WTG.
7:25 – Here comes Jay Bruce!
7:26 – Lots of empty seats. See that Youk? π
7:27 – There goes Jay Bruce! Walking to first.
7:29 – Hey Lowe’s hair looks a little sweaty too…as he strikes out Brandon Phillips to end the inning. Grande calls Phillips “Bronson” as the inning ends. Stellar.
7:31 – Dude! I’ve been watching for half an hour and not one JTM commercial yet. π
7:31 – Matt Kemp looks pissed. I think it’s just his face. 3-2 count thus far.
7:32 – Kemp gets a hit and I’m now looking at Don Mattingly talking about whatever the hell he’s talking about? I thought he had crazy wife and wasn’t going to work this season?
7:33 – Andre Ethier is up and Kemp steals second because Ross double clutched before he threw the ball. Plus, Cabrera drops the ball so, yeah, Bronson has a guy on second with no outs and a 2-2 count to Ethier.
7:35 – Ethier hits a line drive to center that brings Kemp home. 2-0 Dodgers with no outs and Ethier on first.
7:36 – Angel Berroa is up. I don’t think I can spell anyone’s name on the Dodgers without looking except Lowe.
7:36b – Holy hell the Reds turn a double play. Well done fellas!
7:37 – DLowe is up. How funny would it be if Bronson hit him?
7:38 – He doesn’t hit him, he gets him swinging. 2-0 Dodgers going into the bottom of the second.
7:39 – Tampa Bay is winning 1-0 in the third. In case you don’t have ESPN. π (And the Yankees are still on rain delay.)
7:40 – I’m getting crappy Dominoes commercials instead of JTM. π‘ Hey, Brian Little (Grady Little’s brother) is in the stands because he’s a scout. So there’s that.
7:41 – Lowe gets Dunn looking. Well done. (See what I did there?)
7:42 – Edwin Encarnacion is up and Grande and Welsh are talking about Adam Dunn’s knees being ‘three feet off the ground”.
7:43 – Encarnacion hits a homerun and gets fireworks for making the score 2-1. (If not fireWORKS at least fireCRACKERS.) His 12th of the year. Yeah, Edwin!
7:45 – Corey Patterson strikes out and DLowe asks us how we’re doin’ by grabbing himself.
7:46 – David Ross…number 8 hitter, hits a base hit to bring Bronson up with two outs. Bronson rocks the double-flap batting helmet. (Wow! Homer Bailey got optioned down to AAA today. Bye bye Homer. You were cute but you kind of stunk.)
7:48 – Bronson has worked a 2-2 count against DLowe and then hits a long fly ball to right to end the second inning. 2-1 Dodgers.
7:51 – Juan Pierre hits the ball to right to a place where Jay Bruce shouldn’t be able to catch it…yet he does. And the seventeen Reds fans who went to tonight’s game all chant “Bruuuuuuce”!
7:52 – Apparently Junior is recovering from a ‘bug’. That’s specific.
7:52b – Bruce makes another catch at the warning track that he probably shouldn’t have made. He is Bronson’s new boyfriend.
7:53 – Holy cow…fly out to center and 1-2-3 inning for Bronson.
7:54 – “They’re together agaaaaain! They’re together agaaain! Steakhouse Aaaaangus! They’re together again! JTMMMMMMM!”
7:55 – No, they didn’t play the commercial. I just have the jingle as an earworm right now. Joey Votto hits the first pitch to Jeff Kent for the first out.
7:56 – Jolbert Cabrera is up and Grande is talking about how he’ll be gone soon. Happy thoughts, George, happy thoughts.
7:57 – It just occurred to me that I might have Homer on my fantasy team. Gonna have to check that.
7:57b – I wonder if the Yanks picking up Ponson is an indicator that the Reds won’t be sending Bronson to the Bronx?
7:58 – Cabrera is out and so is Jay Bruce. Goodbye Reds. 2-1 Dodgers going into the fourth inning.
8:01 – An entire hour has gone by and I get no Arroyo/Welsh/JTM love. But Russell Martin is up. He’s good for something, right?
8:02 – Sure he is! He’s good for a strike out. Yay, Bronson! What forearm cramp?
8:04 – Loney is fouling balls of all over the place with a 3-2 count. The camera shows Joe Torre and he looks totally pissed. He knows his team is winning, right?
8:05 – Bronson looks annoyed too. Ross comes out to talk to him and then Bronson gives up a home run to Loney. 3-1 Dodgers. Whatever you said to Bronson, Ross, don’t fucking say it again, K?
8:06 – Line out and Ethier is up with two outs. It’s the fourth inning, the game has only been on not quite an hour and yet it feels like this game is taking forever. Ah, the combined speed of Arroyo and Lowe.
8:07 – Wow. Ethier spins around, striking out. 3-1. Brandon Phillips is coming up to save Bronson from David Ross.
8:09 – Yanks are still in rain delay. Is it going to rain here later tonight?
8:10 – Brandon Phillips doesn’t care for Bronson much. He’s out.
8:11 – Adam Dunn is up. I always associate him with Sean Casey. So he has that going for him.
8:12 – Derek’s hair looks a little shorter than usual. But it isn’t hampering him from getting Reds out. Down goes Dunn.
8:14 – Encarnacion is up. I think I like him mostly because Jeff Brantley (who is, thankfully, not on the broadcast tonight) seems to hate him so damn much. But all my love won’t help him because he just struck out. 1-2-3 inning for DLowe.
I interrupt this live-blog to tell you about “Who Am I” sponsored by Corona. You’re supposed to guess who the player is based on the answers he gave. Here are his answers:
Favorite Cartoon Character: Spiderman
Favorite TV Show Growing Up: That’s Incredible
Would Most Like to Meet: John Lennon
Who am he? He am Bronson Arroyo. Back to the live blog:
8:16 – Bronson gets the number 8 guy out and here comes Derek Lowe. 1-2 count and DLowe fouls a ball off himself.
8:20 – DLowe strikes out for the second time (bringing Bronson’s strikeouts to 4 for the night). There’s a guy putting up red K’s for Bronson when he strikes someone out. So I was wrong. There are 18 people there. 1-2-3 inning for Bronson.
8:23 – DLowe starts his fifth with a 3-0 count to Corey Patterson. Patterson grounds out. These guys aren’t making it easy for Bronson.
8:24 – David Ross is trying to get Bronson up to bat quickly. 1-2 count.
8:25 – Ross fouls one off his foot, knocks himself to the ground and says nasty things. He also has a bright green grass stain and a hole on his left ass cheek. Hey, I’m just sayin’. (Well not his actual ass…just his pants.)
8:27 – And Ross walks. Setting up Bronson for the double play. Terribly nice of him.
8:28 – With only one out, Bronson shows bunt. No dice. 1-0.
8:28b – Bronson bunts, and they get the out at second. Well, not really. The umpire said they got the out…but it looked to me like he was pulled off the bag. Dusty thinks so too. Here’s the replay. Looks like he actually kept his foot on the bag. He’s out…go sit down folks.
8:29 – Hey! Bronson’s on first!
8:30 – If Bronson hurts his foot running the bases, will Dusty Baker blame interleague play?
8:30b- Yes, I know this isn’t an interleague game.
8:31 – Three outs. Thanks for nothing, Joey Votto. 3-1 end of five.
8:34 – Bronson starts off the sixth by giving up a double to Blake DeWitt. Here comes America’s sweetheart, Jeff Kent.
8:36 – Kent strikes out. Buh-bye.
8:37 – Russell Martin is up. Why does he make me think of Alyssa Milano?
8:39 – Caught him looking. Sit down Russell. Bronson has six strikeouts in six innings. Not too shabby, Shaggy.
8:40 – Loney knocks in a run on the first pitch because Dunn doesn’t field like Bruce. (Oh not really! It was a really well-hit ball.)
8:41 – Sure, NOW he gets the third out. 4-1 Dodgers.
8:42 – The Yankees are out of their rain delay and winning 1-0. I bet they wish they could play the Padres EVERY day.
8:44 – There’s an out and DLowe is leaving. Bye-bye DLowe. I still think you’re cute if not a little skanky. (I have no idea who he got out or how…I had a six year-old showing me her report card. Auntie is babysitting two nights in a row now…)
8:46 – DLowe’s line for the night: 5.1 IP, 3 hits, 1 earned run, 2 walks and six strike outs with 85 pitches. Kuo is in now to face Jay Bruce.
8:47 – YAY!!! Take away DLowe and Bruce gets a hit!!!
8:48 – Wooo! Brandon Phillips hits a double. Guys on second and third with one out. Joe Torre, you are a managerial genius!
8:49 – Dunn is up, swinging big. 1-1 count.
8:50 – No mention of pitch counts. I miss Don Orsillo.
8:51 – They just played “Everybody clap your hands!” – I shit you not. π
8:52 – Adam, you have one out and an empty first base. You don’t need to swing for the fences.
8:52b – And yet, you do. Kuo strikes the big dope out swinging. My non-Bronson, Reds boyfriend Edwin will tie this game up with a homerun.
8:53 – George Grande says: “Dunn did NOT get his job done!”. George Grande speaks the truth.
8:54 – Or, you know, he’ll ground out. Encarnacion doesn’t get his job done either. π
8:55 – A JTM COMMERCIAL! That, of course, doesn’t star Bronson. What the hell, FSN Ohio? What the hell?
8:56 – Ethier up in the seventh. He looks younger than Jacoby. 1-2 count.
8:57 – Ethier knocks one into right-center. Jay Bruce is no Spiderman. No outs, kid on second. Bronson is up to 94 pitches. (I know this thanks to GameDay not George Grande or Chris Welsh.)
8:59 – Angel Berroa is up and has a 2-0 count. Bronson thinks he’s scaring Ethier at second. Uh, no, Bron, you aren’t.
9:00 – Bronson has to have hit 100 pitches, right? (Not yet – but he just walked Berroa.) Kuo is up. Ah, let’s watch the pitcher hit!
9:01 – Kuo bunts and Bronson reacts slowly. Doesn’t throw to third, throws to first. men on second and third with one out.
9:02 – Bronson is out. Grande says he’s hit 100 pitches. This is so anti-climactic. Neither Bronson nor Derek pitched particularly horrible yet I’m stunned Derek has such a lead. Ah, baseball.
9:04 – Affeldt is in the game. I always pronounce his name “Affledt”. That was worth sticking around for two hours to learn, wasn’t it?
9:06 – Affeldt gives Juan Pierre his first triple of the season. Two runs score. 6-1 Dodgers. Juan Pierre then goes to show that baserunning skills might not be his strong suit and gets caught in a run-down at third. Smooth move Exlax.
9:07 – And THEN when Mr Bad Baserunner gets to the dugout he gets FISTBUMPS! For what? (Well, I guess for the 2-run triple…but still! “Yay! You got caught off the base – good job!”)
9:08 – While I rant about Pierre, Affeldt gets out of the inning. Hey, we’re going into the bottom of the 7th at 9:08pm…this is a relatively fast-ass game. I guess the sooner it’s over the sooner Lowe and Arroyo hit the bars.
9:10 – Rally boys, rally! Norris Hopper hits a pinch-hit single, woot!
9:12 – And on a sacrifice, moves to second. You go, Norris, you go!
9:13 – Pinch hitter Andy Phillips strikes out. No soup for you! (Yep, livin’ in the 1990s – join me won’t you?)
9:14 – Joey Votto has a chance to make up his last at-bat.
9:16 – And he responds by striking out swinging.
9:18 – Let’s check in on the Rays…winning 5-3 over the Cubs in the seventh inning. The Yankees? Up 3-2 in the third over the Padres.
9:20 – Gary Majewski gets the first out of the 8th rather quickly.
9:21 – Russell Martin is 0-4 and just popped up. The curse of Alyssa Milano.
9:22 – Gary Majewski is a new dad. Yay for him!
9:23 – Gary walks Loney to pitch to Matt Kemp. George Grande haz a sad.
9:24 – New dad gets out of the inning. Time for runs, fellas.
9:26 – Kuo is still pitching in the bottom of the 8th for the Dodgers. Cabrera is up. He’s 0-3.
9:27 – Oh man. Cabrera hammered a pitch that should have made it over the wall…but it doesn’t. One down. Here comes Jay Bruce..and there he goes swinging.
9:29 – Yay! Phillips (Brandon) gets a two-out single. Adam Dunn, he of the 0-3 record tonight, is up at bat.
9:30 – Adam Dunn, 0-4. 6-1 Dodgers at the end of eight.
9:33 – Ethier up again. Feels like he’s been up 12 times tonight. Gary is still in there.
9:34 – Ethier gets his third hit of the night. Man on first, no outs. It’s the ninth inning, fellas, no more scoring, okay?
9:35 – Holy Cow! Brandon Phillips makes a fantastic stop, tags the bag himself and make the throw to first to complete the double play! Play of the night for the Reds. Fabulous, just fabulous!
9:36 – Mark Sweeney is pinch-hitting for the pitcher. I suppose it isn’t a good sign when your pinch-hitter is batting .115.
9:37 – Sweeney goes down swinging. One more chance, boys.
9:39 – Cory Wade is in to pitch for the Dodgers.
9:40 – Edwin Encarnacion is working a 2-2 count…
9:40b – Grass is growing…
9:41 – Berroa dives into the stands and catches a pop-up. 1 out.
9:42 – Over two and a half hours watching Ohio television and no Bronson JTM commercial.
9:42b – Words of wisdom from my 6 year-old niece: “Bronson’s team isn’t doing very good”. No, honey, no they aren’t.
9:43 – Yes, I’m letting the 6 year-old stay up to watch Reds baseball. π Hey, she’s out of school!
9:44 – Norris walks with one out. Here comes David Ross. (My niece wants to know what she has to “count to” to get to three outs.)
9:45 – Ross has an 0-2 count as my niece groans “When is he going to get OUT?????” Yeah, she’s had enough.
9:46 – Ross is out and Madison yells “Ha, you’re OUT!” and then realizes that Ross is on the team she’s cheering for. π
9:46b – I should let Madison live blog a game. You’d get mostly, “When is Big Papi coming back”, “Manny needs a haircut” and “I can’t wait for Johnny Damon to quit the Yankees and come back to the Red Sox!”.
9:48 – Three outs. Seven hits and one run for the Reds. They lose. The Reds lose. Two out of the three (the third being tomorrow). How the hell did the Sox lose a game to this team? π
9:49 – Nice effort, Bronson. That’s something.
Thanks for coming by, those of you who did. I have a six year-old I have to talk into letting me watch the rest of the Yankees game!
Good night, folks!
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