Who deserves privacy?

So I was going to write about Brandon Webb and his 19 wins and how I shouldn’t ignore the National League…but I got sidetracked by a post on one of the blogs I frequent. Now my blood is boiling and I need to write in order to calm it down. And you lucky people get to bear witness to my rant. And, I promise, it’s a long one. (You’ve been warned.)

Being a Red Sox blogger and having been active on Red Sox message boards prior to that, has put me in a position where I am, occasionally, contacted by someone connected to one of the players I’ve written about. Whether it’s a former coach, a friend, a sibling or even a mother, I’ve had interactions with these people (through email and in person) and a trust has been developed that I haven’t ever breached.

People are, by nature, trusting. A former Red Sox player’s mother once emailed me her cell phone number and home address. And other players’ friends and relatives have sent me personal photos, ones you would never see anywhere online, just because they thought I’d enjoy seeing them. Hell, I’ve had national sports writers email me with information not in the public domain that they shared and then added “but this is really only for you, not your blog”. None of these people had any idea what I’d do with the items or information they sent me…but there was an obvious leap of faith on all their parts that I would take it for what it was and not exploit it just to get myself some internet notoriety.

I remember telling a friend about the player’s mom who sent me her phone number and address and that friend telling me how lucky she was that she sent it to me and not someone who would have published it all over the internet. Part of me had the same thought when I got the email with the information in it. Another part of me wondered who would take advantage of someone who was just excited about her son’s situation and wasn’t using common sense in that moment where she was swept away with enthusiasm.

Hey, I’m a fan, right? And I’m also a blogger. And regardless of how many times I tell people that I was genuinely stunned when I realized people outside my friends and relatives were reading my blog, the fact is, knowing that people DO read it – I still write it. So, obviously, I’m enjoying having an audience. So being the recipient of private photos of players and hearing news about them a step before it’s made public – that stuff is a charge. But it’s also a responsibility. And I take that responsibility seriously. I guess that comes through here since there are still people willing to share and who believe that everything they do share with me won’t become fodder for my blog. That pleases me and I hope it continues.

I bring this all up because early this year, long before the season began, I came upon a blog written by a Red Sox player’s wife. I won’t say which one. It’ll be easy enough for folks to figure it out (and many reading this already know who). The blog was written by a young, exuberant woman who doesn’t seem to have a lot of worldliness about her. It was sweet, and even a bit cute, and obviously, very personal.

I’m not going to tell you that after finding it, I never went back and never read anything she wrote again. I did. On various occasions. Because my initial reaction was, it’s on the internet and it isn’t “locked” so it isn’t my fault that it’s out there for me to read. Even so, I didn’t share the blog with anyone. It just didn’t feel right. She wrote like she thought she was talking to her family and friends…and no one else. Maybe she was a bit naive to think people wouldn’t find it. Unfortunately, they did.

This week the link was posted on a rather popular Red Sox blog. After a few complaints, the writer took the link down, quite grudgingly I suspected. My suspicions were confirmed when the same blogger put the link to the blog back up today. Well, the cached version of the blog anyway. See, soon after the blog link was publicized, Mrs Red Sox Player locked down her blog. And a while after that (hours? days? I really don’t know) she took the blog down completely. (Since the initial posting of the blog link, at least two other Sox-themed blogs have posted it as well.) It’s really too bad that she felt like she had to pull the blog. But it’s exactly what I expected to happen.

I don’t know this woman. I’ve never had any contact with her and yet it never occurred to me to “out” her to the world. Comments I’ve read that were made from “fans” who saw the blog go from criticizing her style, to criticizing her religion to calling her names. See, while I normally think that most people are great, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to see that releasing information like a blog address was going to bring out the assholes. And that’s exactly what it did (and one of the reasons I never linked the blog here).

I’m not patting myself on the back. Truth is, I shouldn’t have been reading the blog in the first place. Just because I didn’t “share” it doesn’t mean I didn’t do something wrong. But I didn’t put her in the position to get ridiculed and harassed (I’m guessing she was harassed and that’s why she pulled the blog. I don’t know that.).

During this same time, a photo was stolen off of a private message board and distributed, pretty much, all over the internet. It was of a Red Sox player during his off-time. Now, this off-time was being enjoyed at the park, so folks seemed to assume it was fair game. But the person who took the picture didn’t intend it as such and had to embark on a lengthy search for all the sites posting it – and got them all to take it down. Copyright infringement is a bitch, folks. Keep that in mind.

I can’t count how many photos I’ve taken, or have been sent to me, that a small part of me would love to publish here (and that would generate tons of traffic). I feel like I have to know when to say “no”. It might sound like back-patting (and I guess it IS), but having a set of standards for myself and this blog (however flexible they sometimes are) makes me feel better about just being a part of humanity. It doesn’t hurt to think of someone else’s feelings and needs over yours once in a while. Even if you don’t know that person.

One other thing (I know – you all want me to go back to work. Sheez, give me a couple of days off and look what I do with them!)…Jason Varitek and Heidi Watney. There, I said it.

I have no idea if any of the stories are true. And I don’t care. That’s not entirely accurate. I care. I want the guy to not suck at his job. So in that sense I care. And it’s sad that a marriage is breaking up. I care about that too. But I don’t care who he’s sleeping with, if anyone, and I don’t care if Heidi Watney is having sex with have of MLB. It isn’t my business and I have no insider information so, no, I’m not going to write about it here. (Along those same lines, though, I won’t be writing about Heidi at ALL here unless she kills someone on the air or something equally noteworthy. I just don’t want the connection. Hell, I’m not even giving her a “tag” here.)

I think I’ve touched on everything I wanted to touch on. My rant…she is over.

(Hey, I actually feel less homicidal than when I started. Yay me.)